English Leather will turn you into a Half-Man/Half-Lion?

I have seen English Leather in stores, but I have never used it and for good reason. According to many ads I have seen over the years, this cologne won’t just make you smell might fine, but will also turn you into some half-lion creature from mythology. While the idea of transforming into an animal does have its upsides, I cannot find any mention of the “catch” in the fine print. Like, can I control the change? Does it wear off? Will my hair look like that all the time even when I am not in lion form? And most importantly, can I choose the animal I want to change into?

I am sure lion is nice for many people, but I never wanted to be a lion. No, I think if I had to choose something it would be a hippopotamus. I could stay in the river all day, grazing on grass and maybe the occasional pumpkin that people would toss to me. It would be quite the life.

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