Was there really a 1-900 number for crying?

When I first stumbled upon this commercial for a 1-900 number for crying, I thought, “This is amazing!” Mostly because I am not sure what to make of it. When you called this 1-900 number do you hear people crying? Is it supposed to make you cry? Would a caller be happy paying 2 bucks for the first minute and 45 cents each additional minute or would they cry again once their telephone bill arrived?

When these pay-to-call numbers started proliferating in the nineties, I was always surprised at the number of services you could find advertised on TV during late night. Sure the world has an appetite for the more “adult” offerings that these services provided, but I didn’t know they had an appetite anywhere near of what was being supplied. When the offering was less mature, and not related to Santa Claus or a celebrity, I found it even extra confusing.

Before watching the commercial, you should familiarized yourself with the full cast of criers. Each one is brilliant and deserves your respect. You have:

The woman over the sink…

1-900 number for crying

Weepy business guy..

1-900 number for crying

The red bathrobe sobber…

1-900 number for crying

Mullet guy with single fake tear…

1-900 number for crying

Now here is the commercial in its brilliant entirety.

I have now watched it over twenty times today. Yet, I am still not clear exactly what calling it would have provided. Did anyone out there call it? Was it something to make you cry? Perhaps someone on the other end laughing at you because you were foolish enough to call a number that was supposed to make you cry? My lack of answers makes me want to call a 1-900 number for crying.